ICYMI: I was actually in an art show in 2020!

Welme and my 3 "Grief" babies in Sensory Overload 14, 6.20.20l, I'm going to try this again...I am back and ready to blog! Lol! A lot has changed since the beginning of the pandemic. I am still kind of finding my way - as I am sure many of you are as well. Now that 2021 is well underway, I am thinking about coming out of hibernation. However, I don't plan on doing live events, such as festivals or live painting, for awhile.

Even though I was mostly MIA last year, I still wanted to participate in the Sensory Overload 14 show at City Arts in downtown Orlando. This is an all women's show sponsored by Mel's Bad Girls Club, which is a group started by Mel Taylor that holds events to raise money for worthy causes. I have participated in this show for the last several years. Because I consider myself a women's rights supporter, a show like this is very important to me. I love to celebrate all art, but it means so much more to me to see talented women being in the spotlight.

I finished 3 original pieces in 2020 - I did create more, but it was for me. The pandemic really affected my creativity. The three pieces that I created were very much in response to the Covid era. I was inspired to explore the 5 stages of grief. For me, most of 2020 was dealing with grief - 2021 still is, too, tbh.

The first piece is "Grief - Denial". At the beginning of CE (Covid era), there was still so much that no one understood. Our unfortunate leadership did nothing to communicate the gravity of the situation. I was one of so many that initially thought that it wasn't that bad. Sure, there were a lot of people getting sick, but it was just like the flu...wasn't it? Before I completed this piece, the reality of Covid was starting to sink in, so it sat, abandoned and unfinished, while I withdrew. 

The next piece that I created was "Grief - Anger". In the spring, I participated in a virtual group show that was themed around the pandemic. We had each received a story written by another artist about their experiences during this time. I was very much influenced by my rage at the lack of compassion shown by our unfortunate government. It was clear to me that profit was the priority, not people. I used words from the story that I had recieved in the piece depicted like graffitti scrawled on the wall. The almighty dollar sign - made up with gesso to build up texture and silver paint to make it shine - is lifted up and in the light, showing the reverence for "The Market" while Shade, the shadow self of us all, is prostrate and filthy in the dark - representing how the establishment views the everyday person.

The third piece, "Grief - Depression", began in my sketchbook. Most of my pieces do, but this piece was actually a journal entry. This baby was meant to stay hidden - it was never meant to see the light. As many of you who follow me know, I struggle with depression. One of my biggest frustrations is when well meaning people say, "Reach out if you need something," in response to depression - that's exactly what I am unable to do when I am under its shadow. At this particular time, my deepening depression was in reaction to the murder of George Floyd. The obvious racial inequality that this country is guilty of had finally boiled over and all of the built up fear and anguish and anger was made manifest. For me, the displays of apathy towards human suffering and blatant bigotry was too much. There seemed to be so little real compassion in the world that things were feeling hopeless. In this case, Misery, who is always the beacon of light, is in such despair that Shade, who is the true personification of misery (the emotion), is the only one who could reach her - so profound was the emptiness.

When I recieved the call for the Sensory Overload show, I immediately knew that these three would be perfect together. I had already used each one to process those stages of my grief. Even tearing a page out of my sketchbook seemed right - as though I was exposing my personal vulnerability in pursuit of healing. I finished up some detail work and added mixed media elements when I framed them. The quaint muslin curtains emphasize the naive rosy outlook in "Denial". The jagged rocky texture framing "Anger" contrasts the shiny silver of the dollar sign - even as the silver starts to take it over - as it hovers just out of reach, while still threatening to crush. Newspaper headlines, that are crumpled and dirty like garbage in the street, call out warnings of unrest and disease as they wrap around the frame of "Depression" - echoing the darkness closing in with every new tragedy and injustice.

You may remember that I said FIVE stages of grief. I am working on the final two, but they are not finished yet. It may be a little while more as I continue on my own path to healing. When they are finished and the time is right, I will definitely share them with the world. In the meantime, keep dropping by. Stay tuned!!

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